'Soulful, compassionate, and oh so right' Susie Orbach, author of In Therapy. If you want to know why Harriet Lerner is one of my great heroes, Why Won't You Apologize? is the answer. This book is a game changer' Brene Brown, author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers Daring Greatly and Rising Strong.


I'm sorry are the two most important words in our language: when we have been hurt, we feel that only a genuine apology can rebuild a broken relationship and restore trust. But what makes a truly good apology? Why are some people unable to say sorry, while others apologize all the time? And do we always have to forgive those who hurt us? In this joyful, sanity-saving guide to setting things right, the renowned psychologist and bestselling author Harriet Lerner answers these questions and more. Using compelling real-life stories and solid theory she explains, with humour and wit, the transformative power of making amends and the mindfulness we need to heal the damage we’ve inflicted (or suffered).


In the process, we learn not only how to craft a meaningful apology, but also that forgiveness isn’t the only path to peace of mind, and how we can resist the pressure to forgive too easily.

Dr. Harriet Lerner is the go-to relationship expert. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for several decades. A distinguished lecturer, consultant, and psychotherapist, she is the author of numerous scholarly articles and popular books, including the New York Times bestseller The Dance of Anger.

Why Won't You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

  • Why Won't You Apologize?

    Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

    By: Harriet Lerner.

    ISBN: 9780715651582